anger management ...

they say you shouldn't bottle up anger
as the time bomb in your head might sound "danger"
so yeah , I'm at war , its called the blame-game
and its driving me quite insane .....

they ask "is something wrong"
the reason for emotions so strong ... ?
the reason for this discontent
tell us what it meant ; they say its quite evident !
but ultimately its me in the blame-game
and its driving me quite insane .....

they ask if its "that guy"
does this revolve around his lies ??
FYI- I'm happy for it , more than sad !!
being out of it makes me only too glad !!
but there are other reasons for this blame-game
and its driving me quite insane ....

they say "you're only a child"
every speculation , every argument makes your temper rise
this anger, this disrespect is not good !
but i feel I'm being grossly misunderstood .
so I'm torn between wrong and right....
confused if i should cow down or put up a fight
is it me or is it the whole world ??
the world against me , a mere girl ??

so i cant help but be caught in this blame-game
and it drives me quite insane ....

sadness . . .

sitting by herself in the worst of seats, her eyes shift through the faces for someone familiar . she turns around and flashes her friends a huge grin, who're too busily engaged in a funny conversation . she turns back, wondering what she's missing out on . "i could do with a couple of laughs .. " ,she thought , scowling .



you shouldn't make the mistake i made , ending up friendless ., mom had said to her ..



long bouts of loneliness always made her sad . life had taken a rather nasty turn when on 6th July , 1997 she was shoved quite unceremoniously into boarding school, under unavoidable circumstances . it was different to grow up like that , your formative years now in your own hands,having to go through boys , bunk-beds , evil wardens and swear words.she knew not many would've had a taste of all this in one go. for this , and this alone , she considered herself lucky - lucky for the experience.


having reached breaking point , it was time to ship out of the place.


the time after that was nothing worth mentioning . it went OK , at least , it was normal , as she called it . but who could deny that things hadn't changed . her parents still thought she was the same kid they had left at the boarding school years back, the innocent little kid with the Bambi eyes and two plaits .


the sudden brake made her snap out of her reverie. "why do i have to go visit those thoughts now ..." , she thought. truth of the matter was , loneliness was a terrible thing . how would it be to go through life and never have a best friend . when the mind is littered with thoughts . the head is heavy and the heart is sad and lonely, and you have no one to turn to, the truth dawns on you. spending your life as a loner (which i consider is 2nd most depressing after having to see old men with crinkly eyes pulling those horrible carts in the sun .. i cant see such things . it gets me terribly depressed ) devoid of anyone to call your own , though you might be the most popular person in your circle.

no one confesses , but there are too many loners out there , all craving for someone to talk to, to hang out with,to perhaps fight with . a friend .. who'd probably do a thing for you , sacrifice here while being a bit cheeky there .

i wish the world would open their eyes , come out of their shells, shed that snake skin, rip off the facade and present themselves with warm ( and so what if toothy ?? :) ) smiles on their faces . reach out to those who you think need you, need someone. life sucks for many , yet life nevertheless goes on with them peeling their eyes for the first few signs of the morning rays , which will soon be enough to blind them with its sheer brilliance ..


she awaits her ray of hope ... like many many